Look, I finally figured it out. Trump wants Greenland because he watched Greenland. The movie. You know, with Gerard Butler? Think about it. The guy doesn't read. He doesn't do intelligence briefings. He watches TV. So one random Tuesday, he's flipping through Netflix at Mar-a-Lago , lands on Greenland , and—boom—the plot hits him like a MAGA hat : global catastrophe, everyone dies, but you escape to Greenland and survive. That's it. That's the whole foreign policy. In his brain right now: " Climate change coming? Economic collapse ? The lawsuits? GREENLAND, baby. Fresh start. Cold. Remote. Nobody knows me there. I'll rebrand. Trump Tower Reykjavik . I'll love it. Believe me." It's not a military strategy. It's an exit plan. One he got from a 2020 disaster movie . And honestly? It tracks. It tracks perfectly. No more jokes, sorry "Welcome to Scarcity Capitalism: The Return of Might Makes Right" So the joke about Trump and Greenl...